Smol tok nomo |
Smol tok nomo |
You ever just have God come by in an awesome way and sweep you off of your feet? I am talking about like a knight on a white horse kind of sweeping here. The kind of thing that makes you wear a goofy smile as you drive down the street until you find someone staring at you like you have done lost your mind? You ever have the one you love show himself so strong when you feel so weak that He leaves you swooning? Laugh if you will, but God himself compares His love for us to this kind of love through the book of Songs of Solomon and this happened to me in the last few days. I have had a skip in my step and smile on my face. Here is how it all started. In distress. On Monday we started our teacher training I will save you all the boring details but to be able accomplish all we needed everything would have to “flow” just right. Instead we had to wait hours on some which left three communities waiting hours on us ( we were waiting on a guide to show us how to reach a village far away) our event cooks with good reasons were no shows. We had people on multiple sides with multiple emails asking favors and had legit needs we were trying to help with. To top it all off there was way more people than we planned for or invited to come and we were at a loss culturally so we decided to do our best by everyone {stretching ourselves through teaching so many and financially}. We were behind on so much of our own things helping so many others with theirs and honestly I had reached the breaking point. I shared with some dear friends my need of prayer. My exact words were “I am not sure I can put one foot in front of the other, we are just starting and I feel done!” I am not like this much, but situations were piling and I fell into an old trap once again of worry. I began to pray as I drove back and forth from town running for food supplies, copies, and keeping everything running. Occasionally, the weather has been good enough to get a station from, I don’t know where, that plays a lot of gospel music. I began to listen and worship. My biggest concern was that this training budget which was supposed to be small was going to triple and we would have everyone trained but no funds for even the bare necessities to start these schools. In my mind this was a catastrophe and poor planning on my part. Still my head kept telling me truth. “This is His work” He will make a way when we obey Him.” I wanted so desperately to believe what I knew to be true about God and His work. For me learning to relax and lean on him was a hard feat with my human habit of fretting. It seemed every single song on the radio was “I have come to far to turn back now” “ he which has begun a good work will complete it” “we will make it if we lean on him.” A few days of worship while driving and I got up this morning in prayer. I decided I would trust God. Yes, we are attempting big things but I wont focus on how big they are I will focus on how big God is. I said this morning I choose joy and faith. I even posted on social media my declaration to choose to walk in faith. Today I have seen bright smiles all over campus from our class. I thought of how I always thought someday Id work with woman's ministries and how these young girls without direction were learning a life skill. Not only that but the holy spirit was intricately laced through and through on every lesson we teach as we believe the best teachers are those who work as unto the Lord and recognize the opportunity and holy mandate of teaching future generations not only academics but the ways of our Lord. Suddenly, the extra expense didn’t matter. I drove past these smiling faces with supplies in my truck and the Holy Spirit all over me showing me a glimpse of what He was doing and I got the “tingly” feeling of love and adoration for my Lord. This is were God just shows off ;). Over a year ago I had wanted to ask a guest speaker to come to a retreat we were having. This was a lady whose spirit bore witness with mine. A lade who was “fruity” in the sense that she always consistently showed the fruit of the spirit. Every time I seen her she had the joy of the Lord all over her and yet she was a meek and quiet spirited woman and I just knew she was supposed to speak into our teachers lives. I never could find her or reach her then, but Nathan and I wanted to ask her to share at devotions for training saying once again we wished we could reach her. Only this time we ran into her husband at a store in town so we mentioned it to him. We ran into her the next day and a total of three times before the training that started the next week. Here I am pen in hand waiting to take notes on what this precious woman is going to share and she begins to talk about “waiting well” how when God has promised or is doing something it may not happen in our timing but He wants to wait with us. He wants us to lean on Him and trust Him to do what He says He will do. She gave personal testimonies of ways God provided not in her own ways but in His. I broke momentarily to snap a photo of girls enthralled on the front row - you could have literally heard a pen drop! I myself am fighting back tears as God uses this woman to speak life to me. His love begins to overwhelm me. I thank her for coming during the closing and before prayer I share of how I have been struggling too to trust God to provide for their schools and we all have the sweetest time of prayer as God shows up in the closing prayers. I have total peace, total joy, total gladness. While pausing for lunch I was looking at my own pledges to other missionaries and trying to figure out what was happening as many of them we have sent directly out of our pay, and I happen to glance down the page a little further at our own work funds and the had doubled this month! My heart leaps not at the finances, but at the faithfulness of God! I cannot worry about tomorrow, I can only know if I ever find myself in my own humanity again (which I will) , and I feel I cant put one foot in front of the other, it is then I can remember that last time I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other my Lord swept me off of my feet! -insert girly giggle here - Oh what a Saviour is He! Awe…. Strength for the journey Lord…. Great is thy faithfulness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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AuthorWife, Mother, Missionary, Teacher, Friend ... just a few of the many titles I gladly wear. Never dreamed this is the journey God would take me on. Archives
July 2022
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